Why Girls Shouldn’t Give It Up Too Easy

Don’t Kiss All The Boys

Over the course of last year I can count on one hand (with some fingers left over) how many men I kissed and had sex with. In everyday life that would be quite sad, right? But not in my world. Just like when I decided to give up meat, it was the build up of information I received prior to that, that allowed me to eduction myself enough to make a conscious decision and it’s the same when it comes to sex. I’ve lived blinded from the age of 16 when I lost my virginity to 28 when I stopped giving it up so easily. I kissed many boys (as you do when you’re young), dated endlessly in my 20’s and experienced variations of – sleeping with a guy because I had too much alcohol, to, having sex thinking that was The One – and everything in between. But one thing I didn’t realise was the lasting effects that having intercourse has and the factors that are beyond what we can see/recognise, that play an equally big part to why we shouldn’t hand it to guys on a plate. These include – energy exchange, DNA, dark entities, allergies and the obvious one STD’s, which are all important factors that go untalked about as we plod through our lives.

Did you know that when you have sex with someone you stay energetically attached to them for up to 6 years? WOW!! Just think of all the people that you’ve slept with in the last 5 years and how much energetic debris is lingering around in your aura. Not to mention dark entities that could of jumped from them to you, that may explain any unexpected low feelings, binge drinking, anger or sadness. You just don’t know what the other person is carrying around with them. And this is exactly why I’ve not been giving it up so easily over the last few years. That, and the fact that we live in a masculine world that is no longer serving us. Men rule whether we know it or not and their reign has gotten us to this point in evolution, but it’s now time for women to find themselves, drop into their Goddess energy, harmonise the planet and nurture men to be the Gods that they are so capable of. But this can’t happen if women are unconsciously having sex willy nilly (for whatever reason) and we continue living this way. Wouldn’t we love for all men to be real men? Caring, honest, loyal, sensitive and romantic, yet strong logical providers that hold a loving space for us regardless whether they’re single, married, divorced or celibate. Yet if we keep surrendering to their trouser brain mentality, we’ll be stuck in this pickle forever. Can you see where I’m going with it?

Taking control and not giving in to your sexual desires (and their sexual desires) can have ripple effects far beyond what you can even imagine. Ok, so it won’t solve all of the world problems, but it will definitely assist the work that’s being done already – with people generally starting to care more for themselves, each other and the planet. And it will 100% help men understand the difference between their downstairs brain and their real brain on a subconscious level, so that (if anything else) they treat us better. Women need to become the non egoic leaders. We are mentally and physically strong with untapped capabilities far beyond what we know and together we can help make that difference, one small conscious decision at a time.






Why I didn’t Have Sex With You

Sex: Then and Now

As I continue to self heal and look back on past relationships, flings, dates and everything in between. I’ve noticed that the more work I’m doing and the deeper I go, the more I understand that having sex too soon, sleeping with the wrong guy and an uneven exchange of energy is something I’m not willing to do anymore. I’m always saying that between the age of 20-30, guys have so much to get out of their system (dating, relationships, lusting, cheating, sleeping around etc) that I didn’t want to be part of that and wanted someone older that has been there, done it and knows what he wants. But for women it’s the same in a different sort of way. We too have alot to experience and stuff to get out of our system. It’s a mine field out there when it comes to dating, sex and relationships and throughout our adult teenage years, through to late 20’s, we also need to understand what it’s all about and figure out what we want (there’s also different levels of understanding and knowing what you want, but I’ll go into that in another post).

The one thing that’s becoming really apparent to me especially doing such deep healing this year, is that I WILL NOT have sex with a man that can’t match and reciprocate the conscious even energy exchange during sex. I’ve been saying no for the last 3 years (after I quickly learnt from my previous years what guys were about), but recently I’ve been consciously making the decision to say no in full awareness with no what if’s or but’s. Initially I started saying no because I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere, they were using me or I knew I didn’t want it to go anywhere, but over the last few months I’m saying no for much deeper reasons. See I’ve realised that there’s a difference between conscious sex and unconscious sex and it’s the latter that I am not willing to do anymore. I’m not willing to give myself to a man that (for whatever reason) can’t hold a loving space for me, who’s goal is to ejaculate as fast as possible and who isn’t prepared to think far far beyond his usual bedroom routine. I’m not saying that I’ll never have sex until I find this special person, but when I make the choice to have sex, it’ll be done consciously and I’ll be doing it because I want to.

Here’s all the reasons why I’ve said NO to all you guys previous to the last 12months:

  1. Because I know the lines you’re spinning are just to get me into to bed.
  2. Because I know afterwards you’ll be no where to be seen or reply less frequently to my texts because you think you’ve got me.
  3. Because you only want to fulfil your fantasy.
  4. Because you think I’m hot and have the best body you’ve ever seen.
  5. Because you just wonder what it’ll be like.
  6. Because you’re only thinking with your downstairs brain.
  7. Because you have no intention of committing.
  8. Because your want is out of desperation.
  9. Because the sex will be completely rubbish and leave me feeling empty afterwards.
  10. Because I’m not your bootycall.

And to the few that I’ve said no to within the last 12 months, this is why:

  1. Because I want to be fully respected in every moment before, during and after sex. And if I know you don’t understand the true meaning of respect, how can I expect you to show it to me.
  2. Because my vagina isn’t a hole just for your pleasure. It’s the most sacred part of me.
  3. Because I don’t want you to treat it like a punch bag, thinking harder or faster makes you king.
  4. Because sexual anatomy is something I’m pretty sure you haven’t studied. There’s more to me than nipples, a clitoris and a vagina.
  5. Because I want someone that I can do sensual touch and Red Tantra with and if you don’t know what a Chakra is, you’ll not stick around long enough to learn before I am willing to have sex with you.
  6. Because I want a man to honour me as a female, a goddess and the giver of life to this planet.
  7. Because I want a man who knows the difference between conscious sex, unconscious sex, love making, fucking, a quickie, banging and every other sexual act/name out there.
  8. Because I want a man that doesn’t roll over and go to sleep after he ejaculates.
  9. Because I want a man who doesn’t emotionally blackmail me if I don’t give him what he wants.
  10. Because I don’t want to feel depleted, empty or used afterwards.


What do I want?

  • I want to be kissed so deeply that time disappears.
  • I want there to be an even exchange of energy.
  • I want (us both) to feel full whether we’re gazing into each other eyes, making love or enjoying a quickie.
  • I want someone that is willing to explore Red Tantra.
  • I want (us both) to be able to feel completely comfortable, grounded and loved (even if we’re not in love yet).
  • I want to constantly uncover layers of each other in the art of deep exploration.
  • And as the quote goes….I want this!!


#innerpeacetotruelove 15

I’ve now realised that sex has the ability to be sacred whether it’s a one night stand or making love, but if a man hasn’t done the work on himself in order for him to understand all of the above and isn’t fully ready to enjoy sex in a conscious way, then the answer will always be no.

Edited: After reading this post back afew times parts of it seem like I am talking from ego, but I come from a place of love, so instead of changing the words, I’d like to add this.

‘To all of the men that I have said no to, I love you and honour you as a man and for being part of my journey (good or not so good). For the good times and for the lessons, I thank you, because without you, I wouldn’t be where I am today.’