When you’re soul is ready, you’re soulmate will appear. Love knows no time and isn’t bound by time. Love is limitless and it’s depths are endless. I’m healing so deeply at the minute, but I know that when my soul is ready to surface and I’m ready, I will meet my soulmate in divine accordance.
‘Love is a journey not a destination’
I’m Not Enough
After taking some time out from dating to find myself alittle more and go deeper uncovering who I really am, I’ve now decided to start dating again. I’ve been talking to one guy exchanging lots of What’s App messages and now we’ve been on a date, he’s started to pay me quite afew compliments. Last night and this morning he wrote things like ‘You’re really beautiful’ and ‘I’m really glad I’ve met you, you’re gorgeous’, but I seem to be internally rejecting his niceness. After doing soooo much work on myself over the last few months, how can I have gone backwards and now not feel comfortbale receiving nice comments. It’s such a shock to know that I feel this way. I never used to have a problem receiving compliments, in fact they made me feel good, happy inside, justified that I was a nice person, was loved and socially accepted. But after soul searching, I’ve realised that the core of my problems, the issue that drives all of my behaviours, the layer beneath the layer that was fine with accepting compliments, is an ‘I don’t feel good enough’ layer. And to top it off, his compliments are making me feel physically uncomfortable inside. WOW!! What a realisation!! I didn’t even know that I felt this way about myself. It’s easy to say ‘Of course I love myself’ but its another thing to truly feel it and believe it at the core of all your programming. Underneath my layer of being ok with nice comments, was a little girl who didn’t feel that she was enough. I know that all of this comes from childhood stuff, but the realisation is still a shock. I didn’t have a bad childhood, but what I picked up in my early years of understanding myself, musn’t have been good.
I feel though that this isn’t a step backwards, but a step forwards to becoming whole. In my world 2 wholes equal 1. Both people entering into a relationship need to be whole in order to have a beautifully deep connected soulmate relationship. I’m on my way to finding true love and with alittle bit more work, I’ll heal another part of me.
I’m having my morning herbal tea after my 4 minute meditation at 11.11am. Each morning I do a meditation to send prayers out to the world. This war needs to stop, innocent lives need to be saved. Drop into your heart and pray for the world if its the only positive thing you remember to do today.
And secondly, dream until your dreams come true #dontstopdreaming
I watched a film called Divergent over the weekend and thought this quote from Four was so true. In every day life we let fear stop us from doing so many things.
We often feel fear out of the fear of being judged. Let’s inspire each other, think twice about judging others and be open to all thoughts, actions and opinions. If you stop judging others, they’ll stop judging you and we’ll all be free to act without fear. We’re all good enough 💜
Sometimes you don’t realise that you’re in a rut until you take yourself out of it. Recently I’ve felt abit stuck, in life, work, everything and knew that I needed to go on a plane, but for months I put it off. Not so long back I used to fly every second or third month, but for some reason I was working myself up about choosing the right time to drop everything and go. It’s only when I did finally go, that I realised that I was stuck in a rut. The energy wasnt flowing and the blocked energy in my body and in my house was keeping me from being able to make that decision.
My advice to everyone is to make some time for ‘you’ where you can think and see clearly. Go away for afew days alone so you can rest, re-energise and recalibrate. Don’t go searching for company or go out of loneliness, go because you want some you time and a chance for your spirit to catch up with your physical body. Seek out the nature and go to the country, the beach or a forest. You’ll come back a truly different person. Sometimes we build so much chaos and stress around us that we can’t see what we’ve created until we step out of in. And if you want change, often you can’t see a way out until you step outside of life. Don’t make anymore excuses and go make it happen. It will change your life.
I made this quote whilst on the beach last week, reflecting on the past few months.
I wrote this poem when I realised that for so many years I fell into a depressive mentality when the nights grew shorter and winter set in. Afew days ago I woke up to this and changed how I look at winter and ever since I’ve felt uplifted; even now it’s dark by 5pm. I hope this can inspire others to change how they think about winter.