Relationships: 1+1=1

The Mathematics Of Wholeness

Over the last few weeks various discussions have arisen in the Facebook group The Dating Circle, but the more comments I see the more I’m realising how much we (as a race) don’t fully understand the meaning of true love and being whole. I’m a massive believer that a person must be happy and whole within their being, in order to have a truly happy and fulfilled relationship. I’ve touched upon this in afew other posts, but whilst out walking I got the idea for this post to further help people (me and everyone else who is in need of alittle guidance) visualise the meaning of ‘wholeness’ and the importance of it when journeying towards true love.

If we compare people to single cells and imagine we’re looking under a microscope. Imagine us (as individuals) each represent one cell which is complete and whole, yet through conditioning we’ve ended up feeling that half of our wholeness/fulfilment is missing. Cells start out whole and when merged together, they still form a whole. There aren’t any half cells floating around looking for other half cells to complete them. 1 merges with 1 to make 1. We too must become whole again in order to find true happiness and true love. Most of us are unknowingly currently searching as half cells, looking for other half cells to complete us, but this isn’t the way it works. If you want a mediocre relationships where the spark fizzles out and you just exist like brother and sister or friends in the same household, then the half cell theory will work. But if you want the real deal, it’s important to focus on becoming whole again: becoming 1.

So many of us are looking far outside of our own being for love and happiness, looking for that someone special to complete us, to make us whole, that it’s becoming an exhausting struggle. One that I now see is out of desperation or loneliness. But one thing I know for sure, is that a relationship formed for the wrong reasons will not last and will still leave you feeling lost, empty and unfulfilled after some time. Why? Because each person must work on becoming whole, in order to have anything close to the real fairytale. Any anger, sadness, loniless, hurt or emotional blockages must be addressed or at least acknowledged for you to have the relationship of your dreams. Exploring these depths of the heart, will uncover true treasures and you’ll be overflowing with an abundance of love. Not only will you heal past hurts, but you’ll start to understand who you really are, what your soulmate looks like and what type of person you’d really like to spend the rest of your life with. Like attracts like. When you find the real you and become whole, will you attract the right person to add to your wholeness.

    Find the treasure at the bottom of your heart.

Like I always say…

‘I want the world to be in love, first with self, then with each other.’

Thank you to my lovely friend Maria for the title inspiration.



Inner Peace to True Love (The First Edition)

Welcome to my blog,

I hope you enjoy reading the things I share, the inside story of my life and my journey through inner peace to true love. Follow me as I learn and grow on this ever changing journey called LIFE . What I share comes from the heart, it doesn’t mean I’m right or wrong it’s just my thoughts and views on life, happiness, women, men and dating. If you can relate, feel free to share your story too.

How I came to be ‘Me’….

I never realized how much my life experiences impacted on my life until recently. In the last 10 years I’ve met people from across the globe, had random conversations with friends, family and strangers, online dated until it came out my ears, been on countless first dates, had relationships that were – lets just say dynamic and interesting, mixed with individuals from all social classes, experienced aspects of the good (and also bad) life and have had every job under the sun, which combined has lead me to this point in my life. 3 years ago I started suffering from anxiety, each day I felt overwhelmed, tired, stressed, disoriented and disconnected with life. I felt strange and was overwhelmed with how fast my brain would process information, which resulted in me no longer seeing the world in the same light. It felt like I’d woken up from a lifetime long dream. I tried my best to carry on as normal, working, dating and exploring the world as much as possible but each day I began to question my very existence in a detached haze. I started going back through my entire life trying to make sense of it and who I was, digging around, uncovering painful stuff, confronting my fears, laughing, crying and discovering the real me, who I really was and why things so far have happened the way they have. The last 3-4 years (in particular) have lead me to an awakening of what I can only describe as my soul. For the first time in my life I’ve been able to see what’s inside, beyond the good and bad times, beyond the emotions, to the core of who I am. When I saw who I was for the first time I think I cried with joy, wow, it felt so peaceful and amazing. Since then I’ve realized that everything that I’ve been through has lead me to this point and I have now discovered my purpose on earth – to help people unearth the happiness that lies within and help those truly happy individuals find love. I’m now a love architect and have made it my mission to help people find love and happiness however that maybe, through my own personal journey, trials and tribulations. The more I unearth, the more I will share to help others on their journey. I’ve discovered that the relationship journey starts with the person looking for love, not with tips on how to date.

Love, laughter, trust, honesty and great friendship I have learnt are some of the keys to forming and maintaining a long lasting loving relationship (amongst afew other things). The more I look the more I see that relationships are formed with each person looking for someone to complete them (their life) and once they’ve found the right person, they wait for all of the ‘keys’ to happen naturally. This can happen sometimes, but for many of us it takes alittle more hard work, trying, ups and downs and a lot of nice times to balance out the bad. But what not many people know is that relationships should be a free flowing partnership, that shouldn’t require as much work as we’ve been taught, if we establish a relationship with ourselves first. We often focus on working hard at all other aspects of life e.g. work, relationship, fitness, hobbies etc but not so much on our inner (emotional) wellbeing. This is where the hard work should start. A house is built on solid foundations and we (as an individual) are the house. If you try to build a house on foundations that aren’t solid, the house will fall down; the same thing applies to ourselves. We often attempt at building relationships, friendships and careers on unsteady foundations encountering struggles, difficulties and many failures along the way, but if we were to strengthen our foundations we’d have more success and an easier ride.

I’m making it my mission to grow, learn and discover the key to a happy and successful life/relationship. Join me on my journey through single life to a commited life and let’s heal our past, learn from our experiences and embark on the journey of true love together.