How talking to strangers can directly benefit my love life
Whether you want to call it a closed hearted, lack of social skills or insecurity, the fact is, we walk past hundreds of people everyday day and ignore everyone one of them. But I’m beginning to realise how this has a knock on effect on dating. Recently I’ve become aware of the awkwardness we show around people that we don’t know- the people on the bus, in the gym, next to us in the queue – we ignore everyone around us. But why? I know that for me it boils down to lack of self confidence, fear of judgement and simply the fear of the unknown. I feel all sorts of uncomfortable with a hint of shyness when having to start (or instigate) a conversation with somebody that I have no idea where they’re from, what they like and how they’ll react to my random conversation(s). It’s strange that most of us feel this way, because human interaction is the most natural thing alive. But if it’s so natural, why don’t we like doing it?
After analysing afew months of my behaviour (and others) I began to realise that closing ourselves off to others, stunts us in so many other areas in life and can often make us miss opportunities that are presented before us. Here’s an example: I’m living my normal life (rarely speaking to anyone I see) when I see a nice looking chap standing before me in a queue. I internalise starting a conversation, us smiling at each other and maybe one of us asking the other out before we go our separate ways. Then, a sudden flash of fear washes over me and I have a second mental thought of him ignoring me and his girlfriend walking over. Now, if I was in the habit of talking to strangers and starting beautifully random conversations with people from all walks of life – aswell as living my ‘Don’t judge’ approach to life – how much easier would sparking up a conversation with hotstuff be. I’d use my self confidence, experience and new found social skills to follow my heart to which ever person it took me too. And if he did so happen to have a girlfriend, she’d smile and honour the courage it took for me to speak out, understanding that I too am on my quest for love.
I’m not saying that we’re all socially inept, but in general, we’re all so afraid to speak to strangers. Is this because our parents once told us that speaking to strangers was forbidden and it’s stuck with us ever since? I’m not, sure but I’m so sure that if we all got used to speaking to people we don’t know more often, it would have a positive impact and a direct effect on our single life. There’d be more opportunity, with the probability of meeting someone being significantly increased.
I would class myself as confident in other areas of my life but not this one. I can talk to shop assistants and respond naturally to someone asking for directions or about something I’m wearing, but anything beyond this drifts out of my comfort zone. As part of my New Year’s resolution I’m going to try talking more when I’m out and about to see what happens. Imagine if we all made a conscious movement towards showing warmth towards strangers and engaging in smiles, laughter and nice (random) conversations. Imagine after afew times practising how confident we’d feel approaching the opposite sex. Imagine that no one would care about the embarrassment/shame of what might be. Imagine there was no judgement from the receiver of our spontaneity. Imagine the possibilities.
Food for thought