Relationships: Problems, Healing And Searching
I was approached by a couple the other day after they heard (through a friend) about my journey and what I believe in – a self healing journey that leads to a soulmate relationship. I was deeply moved by the couples commitment to each other and their willingness to deepen the relationship, after recently admitting that things weren’t working out. It was so brave of them to come out and say this after being together 2.5years, but the biggest thing that shocked me, was the fact that they could identify with their problems and be honest with themselves enough to say let’s try work it out. The couple went on to say that their relationship had reached great difficulties, they’d lost their connection due to arguments and Chris (not his real name but the husband) had started to look to other women for attention. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard and witnessed relationships like this – including my own past relationships. So often we enter into a relationship and things are great for awhile. Then when our hormones rebalance (after spending months synced in deep lust) and the intensity of the connection begins to wane, we fine ourselves stressed and arguing over irrelevant little things.
I feel the reason why this happens in so many relationships, is because we haven’t yet dealt with issues from our past. I discovered somewhere near the start of my deep healing (after unraveling who I really am) that there were 2-3 root causes that drove all of my behaviour. These root causes were responsible for my moods, character, ability to love, trust, work, approach to money, insecurities, happiness, who I chose to be with…..EVERYTHING, even down to the clothes I wore each day. But what I also realised is that every one of my root causing problems stemmed from my childhood and after a little more digging/unraveling, some were even ancestral patterns passed down which no longer serve me in todays modern world. What a discovery! Everything that we experience as children (good or not so good), builds our character, defines us and shapes us into the adult that we are today. And when we fail to make a conscious effort to heal our past (whether traumatic or mini school) our issues eventually resurface, preventing us from being able to sort out relationship problems amicably; hence why Chris and Angela can’t get past the difficulties within their relationship. Our past well and truly determines our future.
‘Just like a pressure cooker, everything that goes in, must come out.’ – Me
Through Chris and Angela’s story it has made me realise that, as difficult as this healing inner peace journey is, it’s one of the best things that I’ve ever done. I now feel peaceful and secure inside, where before there was sadness. I now know who I really am and what my soul looks like. I’ve reached new depths of love within my being and it’s only now that I can resume my soulmate search.