As I journey ever deeper into my heart there are somethings that I must release. Realisations, pains, blocks and judgments that I must let go of. I apologise for every wrong doing. In this declaration, I brutally express my apology to all men who have graced my journey so far – past and present.
To you – Grandfathers, Dad, brothers, lovers, all family members, boyfriends, friends, soulmates, colleagues, classmates, crushes, clients, business associates and strangers.
I’m sorry for the times when I hurt you, causing you mental, physical and emotional pain. It was me that was the problem not you. I apologise for not seeing you, hearing you, listening to you or holding space for you to express yourself. For putting you down when I should have built you up. For snapping, shouting, emasculating, judging, presuming, bruising (physically and with words) and for not being there for you when you really needed me. I’m sorry, please forgive me.
I’m sorry for not seeing you, the real you inside, the pure essence of your beauty. There were times when I should have bared witness to you trying, but instead, I carried on in my own world, failing to see your truth.
I’m sorry for taking it out on you when it wasn’t your fault, when you were only trying to help. For the unnecessary disagreements, that spiralled into an argument or that resulted in us falling out. I don’t know why I found it hard to see that you only had my best interests at heart, nurturing my soul ensuring of my divine success. I don’t know why I rejected your words – from the deepest part of my heart, I’m sorry, please forgive me.
I’m sorry for not acknowledging you and praising your good work. Instead I rained on your parade in a bid to unconsciously bring you down to my level. I was hurting, please forgive me.
I’m sorry for not trusting you, caring for you, loving you, nurturing you, and being there for you in times of need – I didn’t hear your silent cries. Sorry for looking at you merely as a pound sign instead of a man. For using and abusing you, ignoring you, manipulating you and for luring you into opening your wallet. I am sorry for abusing your trust.
I’m sorry for dismissing you, blaming you, cursing you, stabbing you in the back, lying to you, for causing you misery instead of happiness and for ignoring you when I knew that you felt alone inside. Please forgive me for the times when I rejected your attempts to make things fun and for blocking laughter because I felt fear inside – It wasn’t you, it was me. I’m sorry, please forgive me.
I’m sorry for stealing from you. My deceit towards you was unnecessary, I wasn’t confident enough to stand in my own truth. Please forgive me, I am confident now. Not only did I take from you physically, but energetically also when I should have given to you. I’m sorry for closing myself off when all you wanted was to connect with me and hold me. I am deeply sorry for repeatedly disconnecting from you and for not making myself available to you. I was confused and unconsciously afraid that you would hurt me. But just so you know, all I wanted was your closeness.
I’m sorry for walking passed you without smiling or asking how you day was. I’m sorry, please forgive me.
I’m sorry for the times when all you wanted was a friend and I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to meet you in friendship. And for the times when you really tried to make things special. Please forgive me for not appreciating your efforts.
For everything that has gone unsaid, unnoticed and unwitnessed – I’m sorry. I send my love to you and ask for your forgiveness. Thank you for being part of my journey and for sharing a part of you with me. I love and honour you as a being of this planet.
Thank you divine masculine x